talkbackapril

i wish there isnt any reason for me to spill my guts here for all the world to read,… but hey?! wadaheck! everyone who knows me can see right through my happy mask and feel the sadness thats been bothering me for quite some time now.

well i guess it feels this way jud.. every pain, no matter how small, increases its power tenth folds at this time in my life.. at a crossroad.. where i am torn into two.. 

i know heartbreaks and break-ups are supposed to bring you down like this, naturally! but i  never expected to be this down.. i have been trying so hard already to move around and not think about the stuff thats been keeping me awake most nights.. i have resorted to crying myself to sleep.. but in the morning, this nagging feeling of dread and resignation comes over me.. then it hits me like a softball thrown in my chest.. its just me and no him anymore… "we" became an "i"…

i never knew how it all started.. it just ended and the realization of the way things are now just blows me away.. not because its all so clear but its so hazy and vague that i dont know what to do with it.,. i wish for somoeone to help me out but sadly, this person is the one causing all this… i  cant seem to make things right no matter what i do and the amount of effort i put into this.. maybe because its time to stop doing all the effort and let him do his part.. im not going to wait forever for him to make his move.. but i cant guarantee the things that i might say now will still stay true next time.. after all, ladies have the prerogatives to change their minds!

what im praying for is strength and the willpower.. to stay true to my feelings and not let anything get in its way..

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 26th, 2006 at 1:51 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.