talkbackapril

Most people I know are looking for love – the single, the married, the free as well as the encumbered.

When I was young, I used to think that love was love. No qualifications there. Then, I grew older and realized that love wasn’t just love. You see, you don’t just love. You can love a little. You can love a lot. You can love deeply. You can love foolishly. You can love forever. And you can love again.

We are not obliged to love. But when we do, we just do. It’s hard to explain why we see something in someone that no one else sees. Why our hearts beat faster for one person against the rest. Why we can forgive someone for sins we cannot forgive others for. Why we love someone and not someone else.

It’s difficult to explain why someone can love another who is far from perfect. He can choose to leave or be left alone. But he chooses to love and let go of his impossible expectations. It’s hard to fathom why someone can love another who is so different. She can choose to love someone easier. But she chooses to love someone who makes life harder.

Why do people love even when they are not loved back? They can choose to move on. They can choose to forget. They can choose to give up. But they choose to love, instead, no matter what. Remember what the genie said? “There is only one wish I can’t grant you and that is to make someone love you.”

If it could be commanded to spring forth from a well. If it could be compelled to rise with the sun. If it could be bought at any price, love would not be what it is. It would not inspire as much passion. It would not bring forth as much grief. It would not be as precious and as sought after if it was not so elusive.

Love can make people swing from hope to despair. Love can make fools of us all. But we can rein in our passions and take full control of our emotions. We can decide to love and live and carry on with our lives, no matter what.

We can let love drain us. Or we can let love fill us. We can let love reduce us to dysfunction or we can let love bring out the best in us. We can let love siphon away our spirit. Or we can let love inspire us to write a thousand sonnets.

We can love. Or not love at all. But those who can see love for the gift that it is that can bring out the best in each of us, despite the grief that it engenders, can find love without looking for it.

One would imagine that only the lonely and unattached would be looking for love. And that would be so if love was attachment and not commitment. But as we all know, we can get ourselves attached to someone but not even the genie can make that someone love us.

If you are looking for love, you won’t necessarily find it in attachment. And if you’ve been looking for a while without luck, perhaps you’ve been looking in all the wrong places. Or maybe, you simply have to stop looking to find it.

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 19th, 2006 at 1:19 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.