what’s happening??
i am never one to hate jud.. but all this, all the stuff going on.. makes me make a double turn and take on a different outlook.. what is all this..??
they say i need to be strong.. that there are other people out there with far more difficult problems and life threatening crises to deal with and they got over it.. well, theyre different..
im not so strong as i used to think.. not the tough, cool gal that i put on.. its all a show.. my toughness.. my coolness.. beneath the calm demeanor, is a defeated child.. wanting to have a break.. a break from all the crap that has been thrown my way.. and so far, the crap has been pouring on.. nonstop and unforgiving.. will it end?? will it?? make it end..
i am starting to hate life.. and all that it could ever show, give and offer.. what is the point?? will i learn something from all this? its hard to say.. lately, there is nothing left to learn.
i have taken on a different outlook.. maybe it IS too late for me..
